Sunday, July 22, 2007

A memory I'll never forget!

Well today was an odd day for me!

As any of you that have been reading my journal for the 2+ years I have been here today marked a very tragic day for me today!

Today marked a 2 year anniversary that still lurks in my mind and haunts me daily!

2 years ago today my friend Alicia Joy Strauss had passed away!

I miss that woman more than I can really express lately!

I wish she were here to help me with a few situations I am going through.

I know that sounds greedy, and she is helping me more than I probably care to admit!

She was a great friend and sometimes I had been so ungrateful to that!

I had not realized just how good she was to me!

Oh yea I knew she was a good person and a great friend, but I didn't realize how much more she meant to me then I cared to admit until everyday after her life was taken I grew to love her more and more even though she was already gone!

I still talk to her often and tell her how much I love her and miss her!

I was a good friend to her but I definitely could have been a whole lot better too!

I had a LOT of regrets when she passed and I still hold some of those regrets!

I could've been a better friend and maybe she would still be here ...

although I know when it is your time to go God will take you no matter what!

But it is so hard for me to say goodbye sometimes!

I am so sorry Alicia, I love you and miss you so incredibly much!


However, some of you know I had a date today as well ...

It was great!

A real gentleman!

Something I am not quite used to!

I can't really think of any reasons to not like him ...

however today was one of those days where you think about what is right and wrong and what feels like should and should not be!

And I just don't feel like I am ready to pursue any type of relationship right now!

I have WAY too much going on right now in my life!

I mean look I can't even keep up with journals anymore ... SORRY!

I had to delete alerts from all of you for the past week now ... the alerts were just adding up more and more and there was no way I could read them all!

I might be turning my alerts off for a while ... I have some things I need to get focused on and take care of!

I need to start acting more like an adult sometimes!

I promise I will try to get everything figured out soon and be back to reading your alerts soon!

Please forgive me!


Thursday, July 19, 2007

Bi&*%! Fit Day!

I am having the biggest b*t*h fit EVER (I think)

I can't stand where my life stands sometimes ...

I have been through a lot!

No one has ANY idea half the things I have been through!

I try my hardest to be such a strong person!

I have NEVER had my life handed to me on a silver platter!

Then there are times that I just think I am not strong enough ....

that I am just one big baby!

I love my job .. yet I hate it!

I know that I am the ONLY person that can change my life ... but sometimes I get so depressed and don't know how to handle what has been dealt to me!

I just want to sit and scream and cry!

I just want a change!

I want a car!

For crying out loud I am not asking for much!

Yet NO ONE understands!

NO ONE knows what it is like in this life of mine!


Yes some people have had some of the same experiences but not ALL of them TOGETHER!

How do you think it feels to be told from your mother how worthless you are and that she is going to kill herself because you decided after 15+ years to get back in contact with your dad and for her to tell you, you destroyed the family and her life?

How do you think it feels to want to be close to your mom but can't?

Can't because she treats you like crap and don't care what happens to you and does not want you to be in her life!

Can't because she does not treat you like her own blood daughter!

My life has so many issues ...

What to do ... what to do!!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Random pictures!!!

So I thought I would share some of my most recent pics ...

Chilling on the bed!! Lookin cute, as always lol!!



My true beauty!!!



Just relaxing!!! I love to just chill sometimes!



Cookie and I chilling!!



Daddy and I


My cousin Rick and I


Jade .... not related to me ... then it is some of my cousins (my moms side) Quinn, Holly, Rick, Dylan (the little guy in the front), Brandon!

Quinn and Holly are sisters! Jade is their cosuin from their dad's side .... I am related to them by their moms side!

Brandon, Rick, & Dylan are brothers!!


My cousin Jeanette (her brothers are Rick, Dylan & Brandon)

Dylan in the front, then in the back it is ... Aunt Eileen, her son Randy, Rick, Quade & his brother Clayton (Quade & Clayton are the brothers of Quinn & Holly)


Grandma Morris (my mom's mom)


Rick, Bambi (Eileen's daughter), Randy (the pin cushion lol)


Grandpa Miller (my dad's dad)


Grandma Miller (my dad's mom)



Me at my grandparents farm!!! It has been such a long time since I have been here!


Me just being silly!


Me just realxing


Well I hope you enjoyed the pics!!

And as always thanks for reading .. have a great weekend!!

ordering pizza in the future

clicky HERE  .... this is so funny!!!


I hope you enjoyed it!!

Thanks Lisa for sharing, that was great!

Friday, July 6, 2007

List of readers

I just wanted to show the list of my readers for my private journal ...

if I am missing anyone .. e-mail me or leave a comment and I'll add!!




Thursday, July 5, 2007

This is just too funny for words!!!

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two lizards he holds prisoner in his room.

"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious dad, can you help?"

I put my best lizard-healer statement on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little lizards was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

"Honey," I called, " come look at the lizard!"

"Oh my! gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies."

"What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged.

"Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife..

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired.(I actually think she said this sarcastically!)

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting m! y teeth together).

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me. (again with the sarcasm, you think?)

By now the rest of the family! had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it.

"Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"Oh, gross!" they shrieked.

"Well, isn't THAT just great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little lizard babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too. Don't you?)

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later.

"We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted. "It's breech," my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay." Squeamishly , I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gentle tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911," my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. "Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged.

"I don't think lizards do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)

The Vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass.

"What do you think, Doc, a C-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I sp eak to you privately for a moment?"

I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the Vet assured us. "This lizard is not in labour. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male sp ecies, they um..... um.... masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife.

"Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron."

We were silent, absorbing this.

"So Ernie's just... just... excited," my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence. Then my viscous, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my flawless manliness.

Tears were now running down her face. Laughing "It's just... that... I'm picturing you pulling on its... its... teeny little..." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Vet and hurriedly bundled the lizards and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea,"

Closed mouth, my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

1 - Lizards - $140...

2 - Cage - $50...

3 - Trip to the Vet - $30....

4 - Memory of your husband pulling on a lizard's winkie..... Priceless

Moral of the story - finish biology class - lizards lay eggs

Wednesday, July 4, 2007

Thank you!!

Here I found this over at Lisa's journal ...

thanks Lisa for sharing!!!

And now on to all of you ..... CLICKY ME!!!

And she also shared this too ...  Clicky me!!


I hope you enjoyed it!!!

Happy fourth of July everyone!!!



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I hope everyone enjoys the day and is safe out there!!!


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Eat lots of good foods!!!

Enjoy the weather!!!

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Have fun watching the fireworks!!!

But NEVER forget what this holiday stands for!!!

Never forget the fallen soliders to make this country what it is today!!

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