I am having the biggest b*t*h fit EVER (I think)
I can't stand where my life stands sometimes ...
I have been through a lot!
No one has ANY idea half the things I have been through!
I try my hardest to be such a strong person!
I have NEVER had my life handed to me on a silver platter!
Then there are times that I just think I am not strong enough ....
that I am just one big baby!
I love my job .. yet I hate it!
I know that I am the ONLY person that can change my life ... but sometimes I get so depressed and don't know how to handle what has been dealt to me!
I just want to sit and scream and cry!
I just want a change!
I want a car!
For crying out loud I am not asking for much!
Yet NO ONE understands!
NO ONE knows what it is like in this life of mine!
Yes some people have had some of the same experiences but not ALL of them TOGETHER!
How do you think it feels to be told from your mother how worthless you are and that she is going to kill herself because you decided after 15+ years to get back in contact with your dad and for her to tell you, you destroyed the family and her life?
How do you think it feels to want to be close to your mom but can't?
Can't because she treats you like crap and don't care what happens to you and does not want you to be in her life!
Can't because she does not treat you like her own blood daughter!
My life has so many issues ...
What to do ... what to do!!