Thursday, July 19, 2007

Bi&*%! Fit Day!

I am having the biggest b*t*h fit EVER (I think)

I can't stand where my life stands sometimes ...

I have been through a lot!

No one has ANY idea half the things I have been through!

I try my hardest to be such a strong person!

I have NEVER had my life handed to me on a silver platter!

Then there are times that I just think I am not strong enough ....

that I am just one big baby!

I love my job .. yet I hate it!

I know that I am the ONLY person that can change my life ... but sometimes I get so depressed and don't know how to handle what has been dealt to me!

I just want to sit and scream and cry!

I just want a change!

I want a car!

For crying out loud I am not asking for much!

Yet NO ONE understands!

NO ONE knows what it is like in this life of mine!

NO ONE!

Yes some people have had some of the same experiences but not ALL of them TOGETHER!

How do you think it feels to be told from your mother how worthless you are and that she is going to kill herself because you decided after 15+ years to get back in contact with your dad and for her to tell you, you destroyed the family and her life?

How do you think it feels to want to be close to your mom but can't?

Can't because she treats you like crap and don't care what happens to you and does not want you to be in her life!

Can't because she does not treat you like her own blood daughter!

My life has so many issues ...

What to do ... what to do!!

7 comments:

mrscammoman316 said...

Honey, you can't make her issues your own. Thats her cross to bear not yours. You know she has these issues and I'm sure thats whats standing in the way. But at the same time she won't get help, and I'm sure wouldn't accept it if it was offered to her. I don't know what its like cause I have been blessed with a wonderful supportive family, & for years I have wished that for your. Atleast now you have your father & his side of the family. I love you!

z7snowflake said...

im sorry ur having such a rough time sweetie *hugs*

therealslimemmy said...

hang in there you are strong and you will make it
people who get their lives handed to them on platters never learn to do things themselves.
you have a good job and you are smart
if your mom dosent see that screw her
em

lisa41076 said...

Awwwwww Hugs to you I am so sorry about this, Hugs Lisa

seraphoflove9001 said...

Oh sweetie.....no, my life wasn't handed to me on a silver platter either. If your mom can' t see that you are a hard worker and a good person, then that is her issues. My heart goes out to you. Mnay hugs to you.
Lisa

bhbner2him said...

No answers.....just hugs, support and prayers!  There is One who understands completely dear.  -  Barbara

misscarberry said...

Replace the word 'mom' with 'dad', and we're close to mine! LOL
Love Sam xXx