Sunday, July 22, 2007

A memory I'll never forget!

Well today was an odd day for me!

As any of you that have been reading my journal for the 2+ years I have been here today marked a very tragic day for me today!

Today marked a 2 year anniversary that still lurks in my mind and haunts me daily!

2 years ago today my friend Alicia Joy Strauss had passed away!

I miss that woman more than I can really express lately!

I wish she were here to help me with a few situations I am going through.

I know that sounds greedy, and she is helping me more than I probably care to admit!

She was a great friend and sometimes I had been so ungrateful to that!

I had not realized just how good she was to me!

Oh yea I knew she was a good person and a great friend, but I didn't realize how much more she meant to me then I cared to admit until everyday after her life was taken I grew to love her more and more even though she was already gone!

I still talk to her often and tell her how much I love her and miss her!

I was a good friend to her but I definitely could have been a whole lot better too!

I had a LOT of regrets when she passed and I still hold some of those regrets!

I could've been a better friend and maybe she would still be here ...

although I know when it is your time to go God will take you no matter what!

But it is so hard for me to say goodbye sometimes!

I am so sorry Alicia, I love you and miss you so incredibly much!


However, some of you know I had a date today as well ...

It was great!

A real gentleman!

Something I am not quite used to!

I can't really think of any reasons to not like him ...

however today was one of those days where you think about what is right and wrong and what feels like should and should not be!

And I just don't feel like I am ready to pursue any type of relationship right now!

I have WAY too much going on right now in my life!

I mean look I can't even keep up with journals anymore ... SORRY!

I had to delete alerts from all of you for the past week now ... the alerts were just adding up more and more and there was no way I could read them all!

I might be turning my alerts off for a while ... I have some things I need to get focused on and take care of!

I need to start acting more like an adult sometimes!

I promise I will try to get everything figured out soon and be back to reading your alerts soon!

Please forgive me!



bhbner2him said...

No need to ask our forgiveness if you need time to yourself, for yourself.  I'm sorry you miss your dear friend so much.  I'm sure she knows you love her.  And I'm sure you were the best friend you could be at the point and age you were in life.  I hope when you are ready to pursue a relationship that you find you prefer the gentlemen!  ;o)  -  Barbara

lisa41076 said...

Hey girl, I am so sorry about your friend Alicia , A few years ago one of my close friends was raped and murdered in SF , It sucks losing a friend like that, No problem about the journals, I understand, Hugs Lisa

mrscammoman316 said...

Wow, I don't know what to say, but sometimes timing sucks. Maybe he'll understand and you guys can remain friends. Only you know what is right for you and its great that you can see that and acknowledge that. I don't really know what to say about Alicia, I've only ever lost a friend once, and we both know who that was. I did feel like I could have been a better friend to her as well. It sucks that people don't realize what an impact we have on each other until someone is gone, then its too late. I love you!

seraphoflove9001 said...

aawww....I understand how you feel. I'm so sorry about the loss. You need to take care of you first. :o) Many hugs to you. :o)

therealslimemmy said...

glad you had a nice date
will miss you but understand sometimes life comes first ya need things to journal about right, LOL

tristannmbr2 said...

You know your friend is watching you from above and she knows how much you care and love her and miss her.  There is not one human being that is a 100% awesome friend, we are not perfect, so don't beat herself up for that.  It is ok!  I want to know where you went on your date and what happen!  :)  Tell if you feel you want to!
Love ya girl!

misscarberry said...

Your friend is watching over you and you know it. I'm glad your date went well, details! How did you meet him? What did you do?
Love Sam xXx

sexyg002 said...

Love your journal! Mine is now private, i'll give you acess, have a great weekend :) Cass

rjet33 said...

Oh honey, please!  I had to turn my alerts off a long time ago because life has been so overwhelming for me lately.  I hope things get better so you can get back to J-Land.  I hardly post in mine anymore either.  It is not that I don't want to.  Writing is my therapy!  I just have not had the time!



kaycarberry said...

You know where we are if you need us :)
Love Sam xXx

thegirlnexdoor77 said...

Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas this year! TerryAnn