Friday, December 2, 2005

What-A-Day!

So the after affects from yesterday were definitely on today!

I was really in a grouchy mood and people noticed it!

I was not trying it on purpose, I just couldn't help it!

I tried to get out of my little rut ... but I couldn't!

I did for a little bit when I was at wal-mart shopping with Lisa!

I almost cried a few times at work today!

Just thinking of my family and what I come from hurts!

It hurts even more to know that it will NEVER change ... they will always be this way!

Knowing what I've gone through makes me feel weak and strong at the same time!

It makes me feel weak, becuase I think, "Sheesh, I've been through a lot .... when will it slow down?"

It makes me feel strong because I think, "Well if I can go through that then I can survive almost anything! There are things worse than this, but I know if I keep thinking positive, I will succeed to the fullest!"

But all of those thoughts never change the fact of how I HATE my family!

I know everytime I say "HATE" someone always says, "You should never say that world because that is a very strong word and ... " yada yada yada .....

But like I said before I HATEmy family!

I know and understand what that word means ... and I truly do feel this way ... there is no second guessing my feelings about it!

I just want to jump up, move out of state, leave no trace, change my last name, and start fresh!

But I know I can't do that because of my brother!

I could not imagine living my life without my brother!

I need him ... he is the ONLY family member that I love!

 

3 comments:

mastersblynn said...

I am so sorry that you are feeling down.  Remember that not only do you need your brother...he needs you too.  Hang in there girl. I am in your corner and I am betting on you to win!!!! Hugs, Barbara

linnpooh said...

Hang in there Theresa and remember what I said yesterday. You can't change it , it's in the past....but your past doesn't define who you are now or who you will be. Your family can't define you either......and it's obvious they haven't. You have climbed out of the dark place and risen above it all. Focus on that, focus on your brother and remove the rest from your worry list.
I'm sorry you had another bad day....I will pray very hard tonight that the sun will come out for you tomorrow.

Love & Pooh Hugs,
Linda~

lici0uslatin22 said...

hey girl hang on tight, I know were you are coming from..  The same way you need your brother he needs you more..  You need to stay strong dont collapse, keep your faith..  be Strong, You are the person that is going to help your little brother be someone in life..  The courage is to stick and stay strong the feelings of being lonely are not good but dont let that bring you down..  I am here to listen anything just E-mail me..  Take care Mari...