Thursday, December 1, 2005


side note: 7 days until my 21st birthday! :)

Okay, I have to tell ya, today has been an eventful day!

And NOT a good eventful day either!

The kind that makes me ashamed of my family and who I am!

When I start thinking that maybe I take them for granted and maybe I should try giving them a chance, they prove to me why I don't want to give them a chance!

Well it is my wonderful Lil Bro's birthday!

He turned 13 today!

I told my dad to have my brother wake me up before he left for school!

So Hunter comes up and lays on me and my bed and says, "I was told to come wake you up!"

I told him to get something out of one of my bags in my room and bring it to me!

He is half asleep!

He gets it and gets ready to me and I said, "Happy birthday!"

I got him a cute card and the XBOX game "50 cent Bulletproof"

He loved it!

Then I went back to sleep as he got ready for school!

Lisa calls me an hour later (it amazes me how I can be in a deep sleep and hear my cell phone in my purse, vibrating, not ringing but vibrating!)

It was my fault that she called!

I told her monday that I worked today .... forgetting that it was my one day off!

So she asked me if I was working and I said no!

Of course she kept apoligizing becuase she felt bad .... I told her not to worry about it, I was already woken up by my brother, cuz I told him to, plus I told her I worked today ... my fault!

Then I decided to "try out" my brother's new game .... just to see if I would like it .... heck I LOVE "Grand Theft Auto San Andreas!"

I like it ... but I am NOT good at the aiming part!

And that is the MAIN part of the game ... shootingpeople!

ABout 12/1:00 my brother is banging on the front door!

I knew he was suspended ... I knew it was nothing else!

he thinks this is funny (my mom teaches him that it is) and says, "Surprise!"

I immediatley said, "What did you get suspended for now?" 

As I saw the pink slip and a nurses slip in his hand with magazines!

"I'll let Dad tell you!"

"No you tell me"


I took the pink slip from him and the nurses slip!

He fought somebody ... threw their head up against the wall ... and as the teacher wrote on the slip .... "VERY VERY HARD!"

He went to the nurses office saying that his newly pierced ear hurt from the fight!

Well I told him how I felt about the situation!

"Fighting gets you no where in life, Hunter! Did you not to into a home because of fighting and stealing?"


"I know you want to do better with your life, but for some reason you are having a tough time doing so! Hunter, I know you can do better! I know this is NOT where you want to be! You already have been suspended at LEAST 5 times this school year! It is not funny at all! Please tell me you will try harder! I want to see you have a better future than some of our family members have made for themselves! Can you promise that?"

"Yes! But I don't deserve to go to the movies today, like you promised me for my brithday!"

"No I don't think you do and I am glad to see that you noticed that!"

Well I think my talks do get through to him ... but then my parents show him (mainly my mom) the wrong!

They praise him!

I heard my mom while I was in the showertlaking to my brother, she was reading the pink slip ... and what do you think she did?

Laughed ... she thought the whole thing was funny!

"Hunter, you slammed their head into the wall "VERY VERY HARD! Well I guess that's what they get!"

As she just kept praising him for what he did!


Well me and my brother spent hours palying the XBOX together!

My mom got her 2 checks and was off to cash them and BLOW her money on "useless" items!

She said Hunter could stay home with me since I didn't have to work!

Which I thought was REALLY weird because she HATES the fact that my brother and I get along so well!

She says, "I'm the mom, not Theresa! Hunter you are coming with me whether you like it or not!"

She NEVER lets hime stay with me!

Well she did today, I thought this was extremely weird!

So we spent more time together and even had our daily fight!

Usually if we spend a lot of time together he usually gets to rough and we get mad at each other!


Well my dad came home and asked where my mom was ... "We have NO idea!"

It was a little unusual that she was not home by 5!

And earlier my brother asked me what I would do if somehting happened to mom!

He said that I wouldn't care ... I told him just because mom and I don't get along does not mean that I would not be hurt if something happened to her!

Well my dad sits down to eat his dinner and my mom is trying to 2-way him!

They can't get through to each other! (STUPID NEXTELS)

Then my dad's phone rings!

He says, "Yea, when I'm done eating I'll come!"

A few other things are said!

He puts his food in the fridge (He didn'r even get to take one bite!)

He says, "I have to go get your mom!"

"Why?" I say!

"Well she has been arrested!"

"For what?"

"What do you think? I'll give you one guess!"


"YEP! You got it!"

So here is my brother being taught 2 different BAD things today!

My mom first tells him it is laright to fight people over words!

Then she teaches him that stealing is okay!

I am so ashamed of my family!

Everyday I think of much I wish my family could have been JUST a LITTLE more like me! More on the positive side of things ... and should I say good!

I don't mean to sound conceeded or anything .... but if any of you actually KNEW my family ... both sides ... ALL OF THEM ... you would wonder how I came out the way I did!

I came from a very NEGATIVE family!

Bad things happened to me daily ... mostly beaten!

I could've had a tongue peircing at the age 9!

My mom once threw me acrossed the kitchen and I hit my head on the stove and bit down on my tongue really hard! Well I had a HOLE in my tongue from it!

My mom had gotten VERY abusive towards me once she put my bilogical father in jail!

She never really took anyhting out on my sister or my brother ... she did a few times ... but I usually got the most of it!

I don't exactly know why! I listened 10 times better than both of them! I only got suspended from school ONCE in my WHOLE LIFE!

My brother and sister did at LEAST  8 times a school year!

I truly believe in the middle child gets treated the worst!

As I am the middle of 3!

I always HATED being the middle child!

As my mom would always introduce us as, "This is my oldest daughter, my youngest child and ONLY son, and there's my OTHER daughter ... she is the middle child!"

I feel like my mom is ashamed of me!

Why though?

I am the best of the 3!

Like I said I am NOT trying to be conceeded ... but if you only knew half the stories of my siblings you would understand!

Both of them were taken from my mom and her fiance!


I was the only one that got good grades, and did what I was told, and graduated high school, started college, and I never failed one grade!

My sister didn't do NONE of those, she was bad and failed at least 2 years!

I can't really say anything for my brother as he as not reached that time yet ... he is still young! But he has failed 2 years already too! And he follows a lot of the same footsteps as my sister!

I am so ashamed to be writin ghtis entry tonight!

I probably should not have even done so, but I needed to vent ... and give you a little look of my life growing up in this family is like for me!


I am so sorry for such a long boring entry tonight!

And I really hope that you will not judge me for what my family members do ... I really am so muc different from them!

Lisa and Tammy say to me all the time, "You are so lucky you turned out the way you did! It truly is a weird thing, but definitely a blessing! You are doing better for yourself then they ever did for themselves! It truly is scary that this is what you come from!"



mastersblynn said...

I am the middle child too and the won who always did the right thing and the one they were strictest on.  I think maybe that is why we turned out like we did.  The others just got away with things we were made to answer to them,  I am so proud of you for trying to guide your brother in the right way.  Keep it up and I am sure he respects you more than any one else in his life.  Barbara

linnpooh said...

Oh Honey, I'm so sorry your past was filled with so much pain and saddness, I wish I could go back and have a chance to take you away from all of it. But you always remember who YOU are not your past. You have risen up in spite of misplaced values & cold hearts to be the beautiful, generous, spirit that you are today. You keep your head up because you matter, and don't ever forget it! I believe in you Theresa and am proud of everything you are. :)

Pooh Hugs,

chat2missie said...

You are lucky the way you turned out!!  Feel blessed in that aspect.  Hold on to your brother and be a good influence.  Even if you are the only good influence in his life.  Keep him by your side as much as possible.  I'm sorry you had such a rough childhood.  Everybody's family is disfunctional.  No one family is perfect.  Just remember that.  Have a good day!

misscarberry said...

I know what it's like to be in a family like that. I failed my exams, didn't go to college etc but I'm alright with that now. It'll get easier as it goes along.
Love Sam xXx

lici0uslatin22 said...

Why would I Judge you or think of you as a bad person..  ?
I also was Raised the way you was raised I am the what you could say the middle child from 4, 3 Brothers and Myself my 2 Younger brothers always gets there thing there way the 23 year old one never finished High school and My youngest brother is still in High school as a Junior and I hope he finishes, I always try to guide him trugh the good way, and like you said the one that gets kicked in the ass, "us" turned out to be the good ones...  Why? hmm thats a question that I asked myself, I wouldnt want to be like my Father,..  but thats a different story, Girl dont be ashame to write about your life this is what this is for..  
I hope your Mother comes out..  
Take care and chin Up...  Mari