Yesterday when I got home from running around with Lisa I came home and went to room to relax and watch some t.v. (since the Internet was down on my computer)!
My dad came home and kept yelling up my steps asking my all kinds of stupid questions .... which is what he always does when he has a BIG question to ask!
So finally he asked me to come downstairs to his room ... and showed me pictures of his new tow truck (which he knew I didn't really care about) .... that was his way of getting me there to ask me something else!
So we were talking and all of a sudden he says, "hey ... never mind. i won't ask that question because it's none of my business."
Me, "what? obviously you need to know something ... and I think I know what it is ... which I am surprised that it took you this long to ask, if it's what I think it is!"
"This black guy that drives a white car ... who is he? Are you two seeing each other, are you fu**ing, just hanging out, just friends or what?"
"I knew it! I am so surprised it took someone this long to ask me about him! No we are not sleeping together ... we are just friends .... and if he was my boyfriend?"
"I don't care! What you do with your life is up to you. You are a grown adult and I can not tell you what to do and who to see!"
"Well if we were to start dating you guys (meaning my parents) can't really say or judge me for it (because of him being black) because look at Becky (my older sister) she dates black guys that deals drugs and are in jail for 5-10 years ... she dates the gangsters ... Mark is nothing like that ... he treats me good and that's all that matters to me! He has worked at that mall longer than I have, so that shows he can keep a job! He opens doors for me and says the nicest things ever to me! He treats me like a girl should be treated!"
"And I'm glad you are happy ... I can't say that you can't see him! You know that I don't care!"
"I knew you wouldn't care, it's mom that I KNOW is going to have a problem! Not that my love life is any of her business! She doesn't wantto have any part in my life unless it's something that she wants to criticize me on and I'm personally sick of it!"
While my dad & I were talking my brother had come over (I know it's because he wanted to know what was going on with Mark & I!
Eventually my dad did tell him to go to bed because we were talking ... but my brother found it funny that I was talking to a guy and I admitted it to them! This being weird for my family and I (even friends) because I have been single the majority of my life ... most girls my age have been in and out of relationships like crazy and slept with about 5 times as many guys as I have ... I choose to keep my numbers low ... at least enough to count on one hand!
I'm not saying that any girl that slept with more guys than me is a slut ... it's just my personal preference .... I didn't (and still don't) want to be called a slut!
Plus I had some bad experiences when i was younger with things that I saw and happened around me that I was just kind of like, "WOW! Being in a relationship with a guy will never be that big of a deal to me EVER!"
And it has always been that way for me!
But I will admit .... I love being cuddled and I love knowing that there is someone that cares about me besides my female friends ... because I never had a family that really cared about me while I was growing up!
I am no longer the third wheel with my friends ... I finally have a guy to talk about like them too ... just not kids like most of my friends can talk about as well!
I love talking to Mark because he makes me feel good inside and out! He makes me feel so important! I just love knowing that when i get off of work I have someone to call and that when he gets off of work that I will be getting a phone call!
I also feel so important because of everyone here in J-land! With all of you .... I'd be lost! REALLY I WOULD!
These are all the reasons on why I have not been stressed out in a LONG time! I don't even really have bad days ... and if something is bothering me I usually can now just smile at everyone and pretends if nothing is wrong with me .... because then Mark pops into my mind ... or talks to me and I feel like I am back on top of the world!
I finally have been getting my life together ... I have tons of money saved up, I am such a happier person, i smile at everything, I have a guy interested in me and wants to do so much for me, My parents and I just ignore each other (which is what I've wanted for a long time), I don't even really want to go shopping anymore, I can find something I absolutely love and i don't want to buy it! How incredible is that? That is like my hugest accomplishment!
I just have a god grasp on my future and it feels good to finally feel like I am doing something right!
I know that I will not be living here much longer and I feel great about it!
I'm not even really that scared of being by myself!
I am such a happy person right now ... I feel like nothing can bring me down right now!