Yea, the song I'm listening to right now was put on the cd I made for everybody when Alicia passed away .... It was called "In loving memory of Alicia Joy Strauss ... We love and miss you so much and you'll always have a place in our hearts!"
We put a copy in her coffin, but her mom probably got it because she was cremated!
But friday on the way to work, I passed where it ALL "happened" (her death), which was her apartment and I used to live right down the street!
Well I always think of her when I pass there on the way to work almost everyday!
But for some reason friday I got all choked up and was holding back so many tears, but I continued to think of her all day and how much I miss her!
Well then some drama got started about Alicia (of course via my sister, pardon my french in advance but there is NO other word for her, she is a BI**H)
I hate how she's been acting since Alicia has passed away!
I won't go into full detail because I'll get myself all worked up and it won't be a pretty sight!
Well I'll sum it up and say .... Alicia and my sister (Becky) HATED each other when Alicia was alive!
They were ALWAYS at each other's throats!
Alicia even pulled Becky out of bed once (while she was naked ... she sleeps naked .... ew) and drug her acrossed the bedroom floor which was carpeted. Becky has a rug burn scar on her back from it!
Okay that's just ONE of their "fights!"
They really do go on!
But now my sister is acting like they were BEST friends ... they were not!
Alicia and I got along very well ... she even offered me a place to stay when my sister kicked me out of OUR apartment! (I didn't argue because I'm not the type to fight, I try to keep my mouth shut and go with the flow)
But then my dad found out I didn't need them (I never even told them becuase I didn't want them to think I needed their help)!
Well Alicia offered me to stay there then I called my dad to let him know I was moving and what happened! (I told him that way he wouldn't go there looking for me, because him and my sister DO NOT TALK AT ALL)
Well then my dad HATED the fact that I didn't need him and my mom, so he begged me to come home until I was ready to be on my own!
I figured maybe it was better to be with family ... but i should've stayed with Alicia ... maybe I could've helped her a little more with getting her life together!
Which I think about EVERYDAY since she has passed!
I cried 3 days in a row now because I miss her SO much!
I'm crying right now as I write this!
I miss her ... I feel lonely with her gone ....
I never thought this is what a death felt like and that Alicia REALLY meant this much to me!
I don't mean that in a bad way but I mean it in a good way!
I did only know her for a little over a year and in that time I felt like I knew for a lifetime!
So with the little time I did know her ... I know I loved her and would miss her dearly ... but I guess I never really thought about how much I would miss someone because I've NEVER dealt with a death before her!
Now I treasure the friends I do have (not that I didn't before) but now I show them even MORE how much I appreciate their friendship and everything else they do for me!
I want Alicia back here by my side .... I need her!
(I know that sounds GREEDY, and lots of people say that when people they love pass on, but I TRULY know how they feel now)
Alicia had such a big heart, she always put her problems on the back burner and wanted to work on your problems! She never showed her problems either!
She was always giving if she could!
I MISS HER!
I LOVE YOU ALICIA JOY STRAUSS AND I'LL NEVER FORGET YOU!