Thursday, September 29, 2005

Some things I forgot to tell ya!

Well after Dee came and picked me up, we went to go for dinner!

Well we went for dinner right acrossed the street from where we all lived ...

who is "WE" you ask?

"WE" is ... Julie, Alicia, Dee, My sister, Miah (An old, old friend of mine, I've known him since I was like 5), and I

It was the same place that Alicia died!

Alicia died in her apartment, which like I said was right acrossed the street from where we ate!

We went to Anza's pizza! We ALL used to eat there! There are so many memories there on that block, it was really hard to be there tonight!

Well Dee decided before we went to eat (we were not sure on where to go yet) we wanted to see if Miah was home!

Miah lives on the third floor of where Alicia lived!

Alicia lived on the second floor!

We had to pass her door to get to Miah's door!

I started shaking and Dee got the goosebumps!

We had to go up through the back (it's the only way into both aprtments) and you use the same steps (obviously)!

You walk up to the second floor and if you walk another 4 feet straight you would be at Alicia's door!

If you turn and continue to go up steps, you go on the roof and there's a door to Miah's apartment!

Sorry I didn't mean to get you lost, I just wanted you to understand why it was so hard to do all this tonight!

Well Miah was not home, like always!

So we decided just to eat at anza's pizza!

It was hard, because like I said we all ate there many times and it was right acroosed the street from where she died!

If I turned around in my seat and looked out the window, I could see the window to Alicia's apartment!

Well I just wanted to vent out a few things!

Now I'm off to bed, I have to work tomorrow morning!


kwearbaker said...

I still can't believe that Alicia is gone. My only regret is not being able to say good-bye. Alicia was my first girlfriend. She was 18 at the time and I was 14. We only dated for a few months before my mom found out but we cared deeply for one another. Later on in life we met up again, and since we were older, we gave it another shot. Eventually, after going back and forth between julie and I, she chose julie and we never spoke again. I haven't really thought about her since then. Mostly because of the last things that had happened between us. Regardless, it hasn't stopped me from hurting. Only one thought is going through my mind: why?

Please if you want to contact me I would greatly appreciate it. My name is Amy Baker. My email addy is and my aim name is kwearbaker also. If neccesary you can check the last part of my story with Julie. She still might recognize my name or even Dee. Thanks!  

hershey333kisses said...

I know what you are going through sweety. Everyday just seems to get harder and harder without her. Just as you blame yourself... by the way that is crazy... i also.. go through moments where i think if only i hadnt left her.. maybe i would have been able to stop her from doing what she did. Everyone .. feels there is something they could have done to stop it but .. we cant go back. we can only move forward and remember and love her with all our hearts.. that is all she wanted.. we used to talk about her death all the time it was like she knew what was going to happen.. but, she just wanted to be remembered.. in good ways.. and i know she would be happy now if everyone would keep her memory alive.. i dont know what to say to make this pain go away in your heart and in mine.. we just have to keep our head up some how. and one day it might not hurt so bad.


ajsproudparents said...

Thanks for stopping by my lil journal! Im glad you liked it, and enjoyed your read.
I will add you to my alerts, and come around as often as you post.
Take care and happy Journaling!

linnpooh said...

I'm sorry it was all so hard for you tonight, but I'm so thankful Dee was there with you so you didn't have to be alone. I'm thinking about you .......and want you to know I care.

Pooh Hugs,