Tuesday, August 9, 2005

Yes ... another entry .... I have a SERIOUS question!

Ok I know this is my third entry for the day .... but right after I posted the last one I was reading some of my old entries ... and also thinking about this one particular incident that recently happened ... I can't get it off my mind .... not since it's happened!

Here's the situation for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about or forgot ....

http://journals.aol.com/butterflies4me04/MyLifeHappenings/entries/443

Now with that said ....

I have been really upset since that day .... I miss the way Meggan and I were ..... she WAS my "best friend" .... then she started changing ... and normally I would think it's me ... and I still think part of it is my fault .... but about 5 other people had noticed that Meggan had changed .... and maybe she changed because of me doing something and it was upsetting her!

But I REALLY miss us hanging out together and just talking all the time .... I miss our friendship! I want it to go back to the way things were! But how?
How do I get Meggan to understand what I said? What do I say to her? Should I call? Should I text her just incase she doesn't want to talk? Do I write her a letter and mail it to her? How do I contact her? What do I say? Should I even contact her at all? Should I just let things go the way they are now? What do I do?

I know that I wish this would've never happened!

I want my friends to understand why I need them now more than ever .... why don't they understand?

Meggan knows like my WHOLE life story .... I've told her everything ... she knows I've been through alot and I'm still going through alot .... so where is she when I need her to lean on? Why doesn't she understand that I need her?

WHY?

I'm sure that I should be the one to fix this considering I'm the one that caused it .... but how? :((

I just want us to be close again .... everytime my phone rings, I hope it's her. When the phone rings at work, I hope it's her calling to see how things are going. I think of her schedule and what she is probably working and hoping that she'll call me when she's done, or before she starts!

I just want everything out on the table ... I want her to know why I acted the way I did! I want her to know how I feel about the way she's been treating me!

But once again how do I do this? Or even should I? What do I do?

3 comments:

nremt8527mla said...

hi theresa,
   not sure if you were really looking for answers or just asking a retorical question. but if you want to contact meagan then i sugest that you do it. write her a letter. and send it to her. explain how you feel and that you would like to continue your friendship with her. but you need to understand that with time comes change. things may never go back to the way they were with her. if you can accept that. then by all means go for it. otherwise you will spend the rest of your life wondering about it. just be prepared for whatmay come.
mike
p.s.  i really enjoy reading your jornoul entries. if you ever want to chat im always online. well almost always
mike

linnpooh said...

Hi Heather,
I hope you're having a good day! I said a special prayer for you last night and I wanted you to know I was thinking about you and sending all good thoughts your way.
I reread your entry about what happened with Meggan. I really thought then, and I still do, that it was a misunderstanding that got blown way out of proportion. Then, because the situation becomes awkward for both parties and pride gets in the way, it goes on much longer than it should.
Funny thing about pride, take a look at the word more closely: in the middle of the word P-r-i-d-e......is an "I". With pride, all we focus on is ourselves and how we were wronged.
It is hard to swallow our pride, and make the first move to mend a frayed relationship, especially when you & Meggan, both, had a little to do with what happened, and you both lost your tempers a bit. But ya know what? Tempers get us into trouble...but pride keeps us there. Make the first move, Theresa, you will be glad you did. There is an old saying that goes like this: "No one ever choked to death swallowing his pride"..how true! I'm not sure I would text her or even write her a note, unless that becomes the only way to reach her after many tries. Call her & use words from your heart, no blame...because it was in the past and no reason to tramp on those things again.  Just an apology for your part in the situation, call it what it was....a misunderstanding and go on. Know what? She is probably at home feeling the same way...it's just hard to make the first move. She may or may not apologize back and I have two pieces of advice about that. If she does, accept it.....if she doesn't, accept it. It wasn't a life matter that made you fight, and it won't be a life matter to just forget it and move forward. You just found out, sadly, how short life is....make the most of every minute.
Pooh Hugs,
Linda~

nremt8527mla said...

hi there,
just wanted to aploigize if i used the wrong name in my last entry. i see that i may have.
mike