Ok I know this is my third entry for the day .... but right after I posted the last one I was reading some of my old entries ... and also thinking about this one particular incident that recently happened ... I can't get it off my mind .... not since it's happened!
Here's the situation for those of you who don't know what I'm talking about or forgot ....
Now with that said ....
I have been really upset since that day .... I miss the way Meggan and I were ..... she WAS my "best friend" .... then she started changing ... and normally I would think it's me ... and I still think part of it is my fault .... but about 5 other people had noticed that Meggan had changed .... and maybe she changed because of me doing something and it was upsetting her!
But I REALLY miss us hanging out together and just talking all the time .... I miss our friendship! I want it to go back to the way things were! But how?
How do I get Meggan to understand what I said? What do I say to her? Should I call? Should I text her just incase she doesn't want to talk? Do I write her a letter and mail it to her? How do I contact her? What do I say? Should I even contact her at all? Should I just let things go the way they are now? What do I do?
I know that I wish this would've never happened!
I want my friends to understand why I need them now more than ever .... why don't they understand?
Meggan knows like my WHOLE life story .... I've told her everything ... she knows I've been through alot and I'm still going through alot .... so where is she when I need her to lean on? Why doesn't she understand that I need her?
I'm sure that I should be the one to fix this considering I'm the one that caused it .... but how? :((
I just want us to be close again .... everytime my phone rings, I hope it's her. When the phone rings at work, I hope it's her calling to see how things are going. I think of her schedule and what she is probably working and hoping that she'll call me when she's done, or before she starts!
I just want everything out on the table ... I want her to know why I acted the way I did! I want her to know how I feel about the way she's been treating me!
But once again how do I do this? Or even should I? What do I do?