So I must be some sort of horrible person .... I have no idea what I'm doing wrong! Help!
So my friend Andrea is moving to Harrisburg (about 25 minutes from here, yea it's also the capitol of PA). Well anyways I called her Wednesday or Thursday last week, and we made plans to hang out today and thursday since I had off and I hadn't seen Johanna (her daughter, which will be a year next month), and Andrea for about a month or so now. Johanna is walking now, and I told Andrea that I miss them both and I wanted to hang out soon, she asked when I had off and I told her and she said that's great and we'll hang out both days that I had off.
This would bother me no matter what .... but it really bothers me because of them moving in a week ... and I'll never get to see them that much once she moves.
I tried calling her, because we never set up an actual time or anything. I called her around at 11:20 this morning to see what time we were going to get together .... No one answered the phone .... ? So I called again at 1:40 and the phone was busy. So I figured she had some things to do this morning and now she home on the phone talking to someone .... I'll give her a couple minutes and I'll call back again. I gave it about 5 minutes (she doesn't stay on the phone that long unless it's Kristan [her bestfriend, that we all went to school with] or her boyfriend Steve). Well the call never went through ... so I told myself, "god made all of this happen for a reason, as he does everything, and maybe it's because he doesn't want me to have friends, because I'm not a good one myself, or I chose all the wrong friends!"
I don't know if it's me or the people I choose to be my friends. I don't really talk to anyone anymore, other than the people here in J-land, and Lisa (who is like the ONLY friend I really have left), and Dee whenever she's online and PAYING ATTENTION to me and not the other 10 million ims she has going on! (sorry dee if you read this, but you know it's true, so hey)
Maybe I'm just asking for tooooooooooooooo much attention ... but darn it I think I deserve it right now .... I've been going through alot!
But back to the subject of this whole entry .....
If Andrea were a TRUE friend and really wanted to hang out she would've called me ... and she would've seen that I called!
But I also feel as though if I'm doing something wrong .... are your friends not supposed to tell you so you learn from it .... and not just ignore it?
I need help in this matter, because of it and lack of knowing and understanding .... I've lost almost ALL my friends ... that's why I continue to think it's me that's the bad person.
Once again I want to thank everyone here in J-land that has posted comments ..... you really brighten my day .... and your words always help me realize how wrong I may be sometimes .... Thanks again for all the love and support!